The broken wire

3 of my semester papers are over, 2 to go………
And to think that past this 12th, I’ll have to severe all the ties that had bound me for those 4 years…
This feeling isn’t new, No. I have had to leave school; that was painful. I have had to leave high school; that was pretty okay. But each time, I was also happy; I had proved my mettle and I was going to better places…and I loved it back then.
Now what do I look forward to? A cubicle?
Some of my friends seem to have the idea that with this new life, money shall come. And with money they’ll buy independence.
I was independent to begin with. I never was answerable to any one except perhaps my mother. And obeying her; I loved that……… I love it still.
So no false illusions of independence for me.
“Take whatever comes in your stride with a smile.”!!!!!
~Spare me the sermon, be so kind.

And then there are certain things, certain confessions that never were made and haunt me still. This few days, I am finding it very difficult to sleep. I go to bed latest by 2:00a.m., so that Maa has no reason to shout at me. But it strikes 4:00 and I am still awake.
… … … and one fine morning, I think it was the day before yesterday, as I leaf through the newspaper this catches my eye - - -
“Don’t blame your self if you can’t sleep at night, it is not stress (!), it is just the heat.” … … …imbeciles.

And they have come up with a new nickname for me, and its about time too. “Taar-kata”: broken-wire………hats off to ‘bhombol’ for this one… … …yesterday we were having our routine tête-à-tête after the exam, and as I’d been silent for quite sometime, one remarked, “…what’s wrong with you boy, why don’t you speak?”
~” Aami je taar-kata!”
I don’t know what made them laugh then… … … I didn’t.
In that uneventful evening I lost my glasses… … …and possibly the storm took them away, for I could find no traces, none at all.
“Things that are lost better leave no traces, or one ends up chasing after them.”

~Wires that are cut, are cut for good.